What may seem like a tragedy or a failure – that terrible ending to something good – is instead the natural tendency for Life (or God, if you will) to make room for something new.
Running Out Of Faith
These have certainly been trying times. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, millions of people have lost everything from jobs to loved ones to money to sanity to patience.
I’d have lost hair if I still had any.
Those who haven’t lost anything have been worried that they will. With the virus spreading, resources dwindling, and no real end in sight, it seems as though it’s only a matter of time before something gives.
Or takes.
At a certain point, it’s completely reasonable that we should lose Faith. And I’m not just talking about Faith in God. I’m talking about Faith in humanity; Faith in the economy; Faith in our respective government leaders; Faith that our (my) hair will grow back… Faith that all of this will soon come to an end.
Just this past week I told my wife that for the first time since this crisis began I’m starting to feel a kind of anxiety. I’m not necessarily worried or stressed. In many ways it’s more like a claustrophobia – feeling that I need to break out. Like I don’t fit inside my own house or body.
I wasn’t able to put a finger on exactly where that feeling was coming from until our local city government announced that they were canceling our annual 4th of July fireworks celebration. My reaction was “why can’t we have one damn normal thing?!”
I was crushed. Not because of the fireworks themselves, but because it represented something that has been nagging at me since this whole thing began.
When are things going to return to normal?
Running Out of Normal
But what is “normal”?
I know… that’s a question philosophers have been trying to answer since we first sprouted legs and came out of the sea. Maybe even before that. (What would those thinkers have looked like)?
In contemporary context “normal” might be defined as going out to get a drink with friends downtown. Or going to a sold out stadium concert featuring your favorite rock band. Or visiting family members in another state without having to be quarantined for 14 days.
Or maybe it’s just not getting “those looks” because your choice of mask design is about as… interesting… as your choice of bumper stickers.
Sure, you could call that “normal”.
But when things are “normal”, aren’t you still dealing with those same stresses you’re dealing with now?
Aren’t you always wondering if you’re going to be able to pay the bills?
Aren’t you always fighting with your natural tendency to lose patience?
Aren’t you always concerned with whether or not your job is going to be there next week?
Aren’t you always afraid of losing someone you Love?
Aren’t you always wrestling with your Faith?
If that’s the case, what’s really abnormal here?
And if things aren’t really that abnormal… they’re not that unusual, are they?
What I mean is, if that anxiety is welling up inside you (much like it is me) because of this impending loss of “normal”… well… how do you usually deal with it?
Because you do. All the time.
All Good Times Come To An End
My daughter has a terrible time dealing with endings. In particular, if she’s having a great time (usually with friends) she has a complete meltdown when it’s time to come home for dinner, or when her friends need to head back to their house for… oh, I don’t know… bed.
To be fair to her, I’m pretty sure she gets this from me. When I was a kid I hated when all my friends had to go home the morning after a sleepover. I distinctly remember that pit in my stomach when their parents’ cars appeared in the driveway. I remember how bummed out I was when the lights would come on in the cafeteria at the end of a school dance. Heck, I even remember in my thirties when folks would start gradually filtering out as they left the parties my wife and I hosted.
Sure, it would still be a couple hours before everyone was gone but… for all intents and purposes, it was over. The writing was on the wall.
I never had a meltdown. But I certainly know how it feels when the fun’s over. And the older you get, you do have to consider things like “when is the next time going to come around?”
It does. We know that. There’s consolation in that. And that’s even something we tell our daughter. It ends so that you have something to look forward to.
That thing you “look forward to” is not just “the good times” – it could also be called “the end of the bad times” (if not “the end of the meantime“).
If we know good times always come back around that means that bad times always end.
I’ve run out of money before. But one way or another I’ve come into money again.
I constantly lose my patience. But one way or another I find tranquility. I find ways to pause and reflect.
I’ve lost plenty of jobs. But one way or another I’ve replaced them with a new one.
I’ve lost loved ones. But one day I will see them again. And in the meantime I’ve found all new people to Love.
I’ve lost Faith plenty of times. But one way or another I’ve found it again.
Each of those times I’ve learned something new about myself, other people, the world, and God. I’ve learned things so precious that were it not for the drying up of those resources I might never have learned.
One might even say I’ve been humbled by them.
And thank God!
Running Out of… Beer?
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before… I’m a bit of a craft beer snob.
When I say “snob” I mean I love craft beer and I look down on anyone who drinks all those giant macro… things.
I’m kidding, obviously.
Just the Miller 64 folks.
In all seriousness, I love craft beer. I love it for, perhaps, a lot of the same reasons wine connoisseurs love wine. I love the science of it. I love the different ways it can be made. I love the variety of tastes and smells. I love the stories behind them. I love the people behind the stories behind them.
I should know – I brew them sometimes.
In short, I love the experience.
That experience happens from the initial pour to the last sip. And often-times I really hate that last sip. Much like I hate running out of money, Faith, or sunlight, I hate the end of that experience that I’m having with that drink.
But it’s not a disaster is it? It’s not the end of the world.
It’s just an empty glass.
In fact, it’s an opportunity for a new pour.
And maybe this pour will be something entirely new. Like a breakfast stout instead of an IPA.
What may seem like a tragedy or a failure – that terrible ending to something good – is instead the natural tendency for Life (or God, if you will) to make room for something new.
New experiences. New things to learn. New people to meet. New work to do.
New tastes to discover.
Sometimes it appears as though Life itself is going dry. Running out of money, Faith, time, patience… they may signify the end of something, but they are also a new beginning that clears the way for a new pour.
Fireworks After All!
We had plans set for the 4th of July weekend. Our family and friends were all looking forward to them. But then our local government canceled them.
We could have moped. We could have sat around on the couch watching YouTube videos, complaining ad nauseam about that “one damn normal thing” being taken away from us. A large part of me really wanted to do that. I won’t lie.
But we got up. We went to the wave pool. My daughter went on the tube slides for the first time. My son had his first real wave pool experience. We went down to one of the marinas that evening, sat beside the water and watched fireworks erupt all down the lake. We spent time with some of our best friends at their pool, and made new friends in the process. And we hung out with our neighbors as all our girls danced and shouted and screamed at our own little fireworks display.
It turned out to be one of the greatest 4th of July weekends I’ve ever had.
And it’s specifically because that space had been opened up to let these new experiences in.
Learn. Watch. Discover. Meet. Experience.
Taste.
Take comfort in the fact that “abnormal” is actually pretty “normal”.
And that there’s really nothing to fear except Living. (And that’s kind of beautiful!)
Share
When have you experienced something that, in retrospect, (and in consideration of the above), was clearly Life making room for something new? Something more? What was that experience like? What ended, and what was Life making room for? How different is your life now compared to before? Where can you see times in your life where a focus on “this isn’t normal” caused undo stress, worry, and/or even depression? How might you react differently given the above? Share your thoughts and experiences below!
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